I wonder how many of us are doing the stuffs we like currently. personally, i am just pushing myself and currently i feel so like giving up....................
the dread is horrible...
comfort, anyone.

anyway the comp's speaker has spoiled, a couple of radio and variety shows that i haven't catch... i waaaaaaaaaana hear your voice!!!

went swimming with siew ming today, after quite some time. at least i killed some bad thoughts and darkness under the sun, and thanks siew ming for the card!! i really like it so!
haven't got me new tees, new anything, reckon i don't need it probably. don't wanna think about such stuffs......... surely there are more important stuffs than that.

"you can even say that I hated myself at certain periods. I was too fat, or maybe too tall, or maybe just plain too ugly... you can say my definiteness stems from underlying feelings of insecurity and inferiority. I couldn't conquer these feelings by acting indecisive. I found the only way to get the better of them was by adopting a forceful, concentrated drive." - A.H.
she was really a beauty, and that was what she felt about herself.

old feelings that cannot serve me well
receive your sentence
my want is you to be gone and banished forever
fear comes and digs in deeper
tears shed, my words in bits, my vision blurs
this is war, i declare
with more force and more strength
secretly i doubt
but prayers are said, so i will trust

somewhere in the world, she is there
all left here with me is a picture
before, i did not think i would miss her that much
because i am scared, i think of her
wonder if there would be any difference because of her presence
that day she went away, Canada was the word she said
now i only can imagine her, in that place she said
happy with her kids, running in meadows each day
stopping once in a while to pick flowers and smell them
being with the love of her life
happy, just really very happy and blessed.
when she's a granny, i hope i will go see her
now, i hope
i will have a different feeling when i think of her
my dear, she loves me so, she treats me well
if i see her again, i want to hear of her stories
the years the man waited for her, the day he married another
the tales of her younger years
maybe sometimes we watch the same night sky
i never tried counting the time difference we have
sometimes and now i wonder why i miss her so
and the more i type, the more i know
yes i really miss you so
just hope someday, God above hears my heart
bring me to you once again

maybe that can be one of the motivation that can accompany me, lift me